Here is something that fell out of my head while I was supposed to be working...

I am 

By Jeff Lee

I am the darkness between the conscious mind and the unconscious mind

I am the madness at the end of genius

I am the three feet of water you could drown in

I am the fury just outside the eye of the storm

I am the last thing to eat in your pantry

I am the anti-hero unwilling to save your city

I am the long creak you hear before bed

I am the settling of your house after midnight

I am the movement racing out of your field of vision

I am the reason you cry as funerals

I am the fire licking at your heels

I am the blind eye you turn

I am the heart string plucked

I am the eroded landscape after a flood

I am the sadness that settles around your soul

I am the breaker of worlds

I am the shining light before you get hit

I am the cloud behind your silver lining

I am the void you gaze too deeply into

I am the anger reaped from battles sown

I am the frost that steals away your crops

I am the one person better suited for your dream job

I am the injustice in society

I am the malice laced truth of your lover’s words

I am everything you were told you could never be

I am at the end of letting loose

I am what you buried the backyard

I am the lacking of common sense

I am you in another universe

I am you with a evil goatee

I am the last words you speak before you die

I am freedom, so why don‘t you join me

I am waiting…

A review for War Zone

It has been said that love is a battle field, and if that is true then War Zone by Jesse Grillo is a better love story than Twilight. For the love this graphic, pulsating, comic bled from my bones is decently worth fighting for.

Is there a code of honor amongst thieves, is there glory at the end of a hitch, and is there only violence in the wind as all the fires of addiction burn low? These are just some of the questions I asked myself while reading War Zone. A story taken from the blood soaked, shell shocked, and ash covered pages of a dissertation on PTSD, War Zone relays a dark fueled tale of drugs, violence, and ethereal vengeance.

Written by Jesse Grillo, with art by David Brame, this comic sticks you in the aftermath of battles which have been won only to give further understanding to the ongoing war some solders carry back home. The art burns the pages with life vibrant and raw which shreds understanding to leave only wonder behind. The story in and of itself not only gives light to the skeletons in the closet but makes them dance as bullets fly. Both pieces stand tall with hard bold lines and strong words etched across each page.

 Look not to the horizon for salvation for it may only hold the next combatant, is just what this comic brings forth from its pages. As the story merges with the art you get the sense that a world won by war can only give you an addiction to peace. That peace of course comes with a price, one that can only be paid in blood.

Take a look at War Zone and I am sure you will find, as I did, that blood fallen on sand leaves an open wound everywhere else.

Check out the work of Jesse Grillo at http://www.bleedinginkproductions.com/

A challenge was issued...

A friend of mine, who himself is a writer, issued a challenge to a few others that are kin in aspirations of becoming legitimate writers. The challenge was to create the start of a new story that had three key features: it had to be one page, it had to be double spaced, and it had to have a hook. I came up with following I think that it met the requirements but only with the help of font sizing.

The Hunt

By Jeff Lee

                Stepping upon the top of the ridge the hunter’s eyes found that the beast’s path had fallen away through the brush. The monster’s long strides and clumsy movements up until now had given clear indication of its progression toward a small cloistered forest. Her skill as a tracker had not been tested seeming almost unneeded when she first came upon the new trail. Now looking down upon a dense cloister of trees and brush she was no longer sure of an easy day’s kill. Like the dusk now evident in sky her expectations too were darkening.

                The hunter gathered her pack about her shoulders and made her way into the lower edge of the wood. She skipped from one rill to another down the slope finding caution gathering in the wind which now harbored a gathering darkness. It was heavy and wet like the smell of dead wood, but lacking any physical form much a kin to a breeze in summer, easily known but never understood. She steadied her pace as she reached the slope’s bottom suddenly feeling a tingle at the back of her ear, a sound perchance, or a chill, or just the continued emanating whispered darkness. The tingle did nothing to quicken her escape from the area, and in converse it did nothing to expunge the thrill she sought looking down upon a fresh kill. It was just an ambient aura that settled upon the place, clinging to the any physical matter it could rest upon.

She pulled her bow, preparing herself for what may lay ahead. She trusted her aim and reflex to bring down whatever had led her here. But though reflexes could be honed the advantage she had in the open field above was not impeded by low hanging branches and looming shrubs. “Be ready now or be without dinner later,” her village guide would remind her. 

                Silent her footfalls danced between rock, bush and trunk making her way into the increasingly dense section of forest.  She gauged the foliage noting a small leaf newly covered in wet blood. She must on be the correct path for her heart was steady between the instinct to fight and the urge for flight. Her nerves caught it before her senses could, locking her muscles tight, steady in place. Her form stood frozen and beautiful in the dim light resembling a statue carved in ice; just a bright and fragile as such leaving no guard from wood hidden teeth that snapped closed around her waist. The darkness of night settled a hold at every angle of brush while the light now hidden was replaced with bright sounds of tearing flesh and screams hollow called from a ragged torn throat.   

“Silly girl, she knew nothing of the hunt,” slurped a voice from the gloom filled with the sickly sweet stench of drying blood.  

Bathroom Wishes

Sounds odd? You bet it does but it is really any stranger than some of the stuff other people do in the bathroom? We’ll yeah I know I have not explained anything about what a bathroom wish is, but when I get there I am hoping you will say “oh yeah, that’s not weird or strange, we’ll not as strange as me picking ingrown hairs from the back of my knee cap while singing Tiny Dancer by Elton John.” See now we are on the same page and I feel honestly we can progress as equally accounted individuals, if not please laugh all you like at my weird habit as it will give you wrinkles and make you look older, you old looking prune face….

Okay bad blood behind us moving on to the adventure, yes I am as sorry about what I wrote back there as the stuff you were thinking while you read it, fake hug, and off we go. So bathroom wishes, what are they, why do I make them, no it’s not a sexual thing. When I go in to use the restroom I find that when I sit down to make the business my mind is clearer and more likely to wonder to the things that I may want out of life. Not sure why my mind does this all I can rationalize is that I am relieved enough to give myself permission to want something bigger and grander than what I already have in life (again not a sexual thing…sickos). I because of this will get the idea in my head of go ahead and make your three wishes or one great wish, but make sure to be clear so that whatever magical creature is giving you this wish will understand and not hand you a twenty inch BIC (now you can laugh…that one was sexual). So to give you a lineup of some of the things I make when pondering my bathroom wishes for here are the top five that I have come up with.

5. To have all the powers of Superman

                Yes it has been a dream of mine to have all the powers of one of earth’s mightiest heroes Superman. Really when you think about who would not want to be able to fly, be super strong, super quickness, laser vision, ice breath, real parents who were dead so they could not call you on the weekend and ask you how to use the internet when you are trying to sleep (I love you Mom I do, by the way you are down to 3 tech calls). Well at least for most I would say yes to all of the above. This wish could cause problems because being diabetic I need insulin injections, so with the invulnerability of Superman I would need kryptonite tipped needles just to keep my injections going. Also with that much strength the whole world would be the same tinsel strength of tissue paper and I am pretty sure I don’t have the money to be replacing doors, computers, and people every other day due to not knowing my own strength. It is for these reasons that this wish makes number 5.

4. To have the jumper power from the movie Jumper.

I know believe me I know that movie in and of itself was bad. But the key thing to take away from it other than an acidic disappointment burning in the back of your throat is the awesome power in and of itself. To be able to look at a picture or think of a place you once were and bamf you are there would be awesome. Oh I have to use the restroom and I am at school which only has dirty gross bathrooms, bamf you are home and pooping without issue. Think of the crimes you could commit walk into a bank look at the vault and bamf in later got collect the loot or oh look a girls locker room which had the door open long enough for me to see inside, bamf hello goodbye and thank you ladies. Though the downside would be the lazy factor of never really having to walk away where ever again just jump to the couch, then to the kitchen, then to the bathroom, computer whatever I could see at least 200 pounds of weight gain with that much lazy unless jumping burns calories like crazy. Or even worse you and your significant other are having the sexy time and bamf you are standing in the living room of your parent’s house trying to cover your shame before your Dad looks up from his nightly CNN news break. Also as note you most likely would have to make the creature giving you the wishes watch the movie and by the end of it they may just throw up into the sun. The chance of other stuff becoming an issue is why this one goes to number 4 on the bathroom wish list.

3. The ability to jump into and out of any book, movie, picture, ECT…

                This one I could have too much fun with but could also break a lot of reality at the same time. This ability would allow me to go into and come out of any type of media such as movies, TV, books, magazines, and paintings. For instance I jump into The Losers at the scene where they are opening the cargo bin full of money. I grab as much as I can and step out of the movie with hands full of money that is now real in our world. A huge incentive here to keep going back in till all the money is gone and sitting on your living room floor or evil bank vault. Also what ever happened to you in the world you jumped into would be real here, so you jump into Spiderman and get bitten by the radioactive spider and boom you are now Spiderman spider man doing all the things a spider can. As well you could jump into books that you hate just to smack Bella in the face and tell her to stop whining about everything. The possibilities are endless though the problem with this one would be getting too much overlap and ending up jumping into a book or movie at the wrong point only to hear the twang of a banjo and a redneck saying you got a pretty mouth. For shear confusion factor this one ends up at three on the list though I do feel swinging around with a light saber while controlling a giant anime robot would be pretty cool but hard to explain to the neighbors.

2.  100 Billion Dollars

                Honestly who in their right mind would not wish for a whole crap ton of money if they were given wishes. The question here is why is this not at the top of my list well that is because of the responsibility that comes with it. If I had that much money I would have to help out my friends and family with their bills buying houses and cars like there was nothing better to do on my Tuesday afternoon. But then people I don’t know would want money and it would become a death match fight in the desert where two men enter and one man leaves. Honestly there are too many questions and digging holes for my taste so that is why this wish sits at the two.

1. The ability to make multiple copies of myself.

                Okay so here is the big one a wish that if I could get it to come true would solve a lot of issues. This ability would be such that I could make multiple copies of myself whom would act, talk and have all the memories that I do. As a plus the clones when deleted would send their info back to me so that I knew what they had been up to. I could get so much stuff done at once that I am not sure there would be enough knowledge on the plant to fill the hunger of my many brains. I could send one to work, another one to another work, one to clean the house, one to read a book, several to get degrees across multiple programs and if I needed to see what I should ware of the day I could have one just stand there while I hold stuff up. The problem here would be that I know myself pretty well and I am sure that my clones would argue with me when I gave them orders because as said they are just like me. There would be issues with sharing while playing video games as well as no one would want to be the one to go to work let alone go to several jobs. It would be a mess and I could see the only way to make it work would be to turn to a life of crime as the thrill would keep me and my many clones on the run. Also you never really know what lays deep at the bottom of your subconscious mind so to have one of my clone’s memories come back to me and be scared by it is more than I could take because I would be ashamed I did not think of it first, stupid jerk clone.

So that is my list of bathroom wishes it may still seem strange or weird but hey give it a try. Go sit on the toilet and clear your mind and see what comes up. Maybe you will be the lucky one of use that just happened to pull the magic roll of toilet paper that contains a genie who was trapped for millennia in the tree the roll was made from. Best of luck and good wishing as well don’t forget to flush.  

The Line

                This week was the opening of The Avengers which I will say with all honestly caused me to need new pants in more ways than one. As is a tradition of sorts I attended the midnight showing of Avengers with my friends. But this is not just a midnight showing this is getting together several hours in advanced to be a part of what I like to call The Line.

The Line is a mixture of equal parts super nerd and lack of wanting to or needing to be at work. I being of both minds of course was there to take the first spot in line and watch as it grew like a squished up straw you add soda too to see it unfold into something all together completely different. As in the past you will find The Line to bring together people who want to see the movie and know what it is like to be a part of something larger then themselves. This ideology is something that has been around for a period of time that I believe started with the release of the Star Wars Trilogy back in the late 70’s. I myself waited in line not only to get a ticket for some of the showings when it was re-released but also to be one of the first in to get the seats that would make the whole experience like crack to the dying hobo or equally dying rich guy that forgot his wallet in his limo. The effect of the group that gathers is magic in its own way as you can clearly pick out those that are fans and those that are just there to see the movie. The fan is the person or people that are there either dressed in costume, wearing a t-shirt sporting a print from the movie, and/or will not stop talking about the key features of the upcoming movie that they hope are true to the relevant media it is based on.  The other sides of the fence are the people that just want to see the movie these people are great as well but you can tell who they are by their lack of yelling out corrections to other people’s conversations and most likely spend the bulk of their time on their phones/ game systems.

I if you have not guessed I am one of the fans a title I am proud of and wore with great pride as I sat for close to eight hours waiting for the movie to start. As I sat there I could not help but to let my eyes and ears roam across the line as she built to be something grand. As I watched I could see the fans trudging in with their shirts, their costumes, or their shear knowledge on the subject matter. As well I could see the other group coming in to be a part of the madness but be able to walk away from it knowing they could never be that addicted to something. My ears picking up on conversations which I then jumped into, my eyes watching as the one gentleman that choose to be the Hulk looked more like Lance Armstrong after eating bad shellfish but I am sure would rage the hell out of a bike race then go on to become the King of France because we know France would just roll over like poop in a pool. The sights and the sounds adding to the experience of it all truly makes one feel at home standing for hours amongst people called to a quickening of sorts. It is this feeling that I love and hold on too even after the movie is over, which too many people got up from before it was really over, for shame. The feeling of home gathered so richly from something like a midnight showing is something I feel we all need to find in our day to day lives. It can bring us back to childhood and remind us to not take the world or ourselves so seriously as we all read the free comic books we were handed, or in some cases try to keep the large beach balls from hitting the ground.

As the crowds departed dispersing into the night like ghosts finally freed from their hallowed graves by the shrinking of the setting sun I laughed again at the wonder of it all and knew that even as this movie ended there were other pockets of togetherness in places like mine which would carry the feeling on till morning and beyond. As a note I also laughed as I watched Thor and Iron Man ride off into the night on their motorcycles. So I say to all of you, get in line and find your own group of happy people arguing which Avenger or whatever was best. Fling tiny lizards across the theater or even watch in amazement as Han Solo picks up a light saber and manages to beat Vader in a round robin duel set up at the front of the theater. Though I caution you Twilight is not a reason to be in line unless of course you do nothing but try to get the team Edward and team Jacob tweens to break out in a fight. Make sure to have the betting pool in place before hand due to the fact that the point spread is only good if none of the tweens has access to blunt objects and/or a monkey. 

The Start

The start of things to come would be the first thing that I would say if anyone would ask me why I am doing this. Sounds condescending and off putting but really it's the best way to describe the why rather than the how in the moment. That being stated and hopefully understood let me get to the heart of things, or for the bulk of people surfing the internet for work distractions let me try to get to the heart of it, get lazy and then just settle for the spleen or appendix. 


So now that I have set a pace we are off and running as some would say. In the last two years I have been at battle with my own intentions and my purpose never really understanding either sides argument but it was a good fight so I watched letting time slip away. I have decided that I want in some way to be a writer and it was this idea that my intentions and purpose fought so repetitively about. The problem as i have viewed it is that I can't right now be a writer as I think one should be. A writer in my mind is a being comprised and enfolded in the literary world every waking and most sleeping moments in their lives. They jump syntax, weave words, engross themselves in verbiage and die a little each time they finish a work. Their lives are words, their food is words, even the air that they breath is words dancing like leaves across a windy Autumn sky. They drown their whole being in alphabet soup occasionally blowing bubbles that when viewed from a correct height strike fear, love, anger, or sadness upon the minds and hearts of those willing to read the continuing jumble. This idea of a writer fills me with longing because I know honestly with all the stuff in my life I am unable to drown myself in anything but life. 


As a needed clarification when referring to life I understand it to be the moments when you are hastily trying to get your pants back up due to either the impending approach of a scoured lover, or a monster has entered the bathroom and is checking stalls one by one because some how it has locked on to your blood and finds it yummy. Either way you are happy to be done with putting up your pants, but are dumbfounded at the likely hood of such an event happening right now. Congratulations you are living life, now run fool run. 


In an effort o remedy the conflict building in my brain i have come here to an open blog to maybe by chance get some of the details down on a paper of sorts. I feel that even though my life is not giving me the chance to write as I see writers doing, it does not mean I am to lock away the madness of my brain so that normal can take hold. As stated above this is the start of things to come the heralded trumpet blow of the start of an Apocalypse of being just normal in a world that is crazy enough to allow those that try to be super. 


Please bear with me in understanding as I am new and cold and there may or may not be wolves after me. I will try as I can to listen to the voices in my head and filter through the items that fall out. Most if not all of them will end up here and I hope if for anything just a chance to be a writer in a smallish way. 


In closing I leave you with a though and a question. The world is a big place made up of little places made up or even smaller things in tiny places. We as man are a part of the big but in a small room. Being so does that mean we are ourselves to be small to keep the system in order, or do we stand taller and speak louder to be big in our own daily small places?