I am no longer aware of when
it was the first time I went mad.
My memory has failed
just as my heart lost faith in everything.
All I know is that my world is silence
in the void of what I once was.
I recall here and there
the happy of what was lived
in memory shared with or about others
before the darkness took its first bite.
Do all of the others feel as I
in their hunt for something great
could each also know
the similarities of the emotion I long for.
For them I hope not
because for me it’s lonely here
locked in the darkness of my mind.
Everything is on automatic
reacting only to outside stimulus
like heat, motion, taste, and sound.
All the while I sit watching
banging ethereal fists against my prison.
Walls hard and course like stone
but alive and present like water without air.
Hunger, is a word both my body
and my mind understand.
They sit across from each other at that table
drinking from the same cup.
The senses catch another impulse
and my body begins to move.
Slow feet being their trod
toward a glory known only as yearning
My body smells the fear
my belly rumbles at the sweat
my mind screams, “oh god, no more, please run, not another, not yet.”
They are rabbits cowering with fright
my body responds to instinct.
I become more than just imagined fears
more than the boggy man lurking clothes at night.
The look on their faces says horror
the taste of their flesh sings divine.